I will break this story into two parts because there is so much to say about it: Here is Part 1
When you hear about congestive heart failure you automatically assume that this is a health issue for senior citizens or those with heart disease but the honest truth is that congestive heart failure effects people at any age in any physical condition. In March of 2006 I was diagnoised with dialated cardiomyopathy which is congestive heart failure but caused by a viral infection according to my cardiologist. Anyway, here is my story:
In February of 2006 while working for Advance Auto Parts as an assistant store manager I noticed that I was feeling more fatigued than ever before with breathing issues while working and just your everyday walking. As a manager I worked through the physical issues I had thinking I was just out of shape and probably had a cold or something so I did not think much of it until it got worse. While working my 50+ hours each week I found myself leaning a lot on the counters to hold me up since I felt so fatigued and week not really knowing what was going on but others started noticing. Well my wife insisted I see a doctor and I did go see my family doctor because I had a cold and some congestion. My doctor said I had a case of pneumonia and gave me some antibiotics to get rid of the congestion so I took them but still was having issues after taking all the medication. I was still working through this trying to work normal not knowing what was really going on in my body. I returned to my doctor several weeks later this time to have a chest xray and some blood work done and I was told my lungs were cloudy just like the lungs of someone who smokes. My doctor then said my heart was enlarged and that concerned her so she sent me for further testing which included a cat scan on my lungs and a routine cardiology appointment. Well i had the cat scan done and now was having a chest echo and EKG done when I was told that the cardiologist on duty wanted to talk to my wife and I. I thought maybe he just wants to do some other testing but to my surprise that is when my world was turned upside down. The cardiologist told me I had a serious heart issue and said I had congestive heart failure and that my heart fraction rate was very low and very serious. He then told me he was going to admit me in the hospital and not let me go home. Wow!!!! I told him that I had to work the next morning and he said your job is not important now but you are seriously in danger. He assured my wife and I that they would take care of me in the hospital and conduct other tests to see what is going on. Well for three days I was in Olathe Medical Center and felt like a pin cushion with all the blood work they took and I did have a cartharization done to see if I had blockages in my arteries. I had normal plague build up for someone my age so they ruled out me having heart disease. They believe I caught a virus and that this virus went in my body attacking my heart causing swelling and enlarging of my heart due to the damage it had done. Wow!!!! I could not believe this was happening!! I am 37 and have congestive heart failure! This cannot be right!! The worse part of my hospital stay was that I had to contact my family living 1500 miles away and telling them what was going on. Thank goodness my inlaws lived at the time only several hours away and they came to visit Pam and I while I was in the hospital getting tests done. My cardiologist told me I could not work and put me on several medications so for the next few months my situation looked bad. I must say that the doctors and staff encouraged me telling me to be positive and that I would eventually go back to work but needed to seriously consider a carreer change because my position at Advance was too phsical for me in my condition. The next few months I stayed home and took my medicines while resting. To be honest I started to get depressed and I withdrew myself from the public and started feeling sorry for myself. I was devistated. I worked for Advance for several years now and was looking forward to being a store manager again but now I had to face that this could be the end of the line working this type of position.
Well it was July of 2006 when my last visit to my cardilogist was a positive one and he said that I could return to Advance to see how I could react to the physical demands the job required. My heart injection fraction was just a little bit under being normal so this would be an experiment because the only way I would know if my body could do the work was to try it. I did for about a week when I felt chest discomfort and trouble breathing. I had my wife take me to the hospital to get more testing. I was then told I had heart palpatations and that maybe my body could not handle the physical requirements of my position. Again, I was put on short-term dissability after this and spent the next few months really discouraged and wondering what kind of future will I have with my heart in this condition. My long term future with Advance seemed to me to be coming to an end after four years so I inquired about becoming a trainer since I could no longer do the physical part of the position. Well there was no available positions so therefore I was put on long-term dissability since September of 2006 and I am currently still on long-term dissability. I was then released by Advance that month and really grew depressed and secluded myself from the outside world. I did not feel like exercising and I found myself gaining weight which I have done the past year. Well I stayed home most of the time watching sports, playing playstation and going online just feeling like being to myself in my own world. I just think it was a normal reaction to what I was struggling with and really did not want to be around people feeling the way I was feeling. I guess that is just the way I am and have always been. I am sure others feel the same way like me. When I am struggling and needing to think and examine things I withdraw from friends and family to look inside myself to try to make sense of things. Even Jesus secluded himself from others to go and pray but I am sure he also looked inward to take inventory and try to make sense of things. Well what I came up with while looking inward and trying to make sense of my health issues is that nothing made sense at all. I was 38 years old with congestive heart failure and just had my world crash around me so I thought during this time. How could this happen to me???? What did I do to deserve this? The questions we always ask ourself when struggling or questioning things. So for months I would only go out with friends occassionally or to church hoping not to deal with these issues because inwardly i was crumbling fast nearing depression. Yes I said the word which might shock some, depression. I did take some lexapro, anti depressent medicine, for a couple of months but that seemed to make me not care about anything which scared me. Nothing bothered me and I felt like I was on the clouds playing a harp just waiting for life to pass on by literally (haha). I mean working for Advance Auto Parts I felt that I had accomplished much since I was a store Manager for sometime. I made bonuses, hired staff, endured a store remodel, made friends with other managers, was on the fast track for success and felt that I had arrived. I felt proud of myself for the first time and enjoyed my work very much although I worked between 50-70hrs each week. Hey, when you enjoy your job you loose track of hours which I did for nearly nine months but enjoyed the ride while it was good. I eventually stepped down to become assistant manager again and enjoyed working without all the pressure I had but knew someday I would once again become manager again but thats when the health issues started. Before being terminated I hoped for a training position so at least I could feel like I could contribute to the company I worked for four years but unfortunately things did not work out. This hit me like a ton of bricks because you feel your accomplishments are wasted and that you have to start over from stratch again. This upset me more than I can say and it still bothers me today. I guess I have more success in writing what I feel instead of telling how I feel. It is wierd but I guess that is true for me. Anyway, this is the end of Part 1. sorry…………
